Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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