i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I got inside last night via doggy door
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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