kristin has been a bad kristin
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
