i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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