sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
