we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Everyone says I win the strip club
Randomize