she woke up with a sticky ear
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I've blown a few things in my day
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
