At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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