im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
what day is it and did you see me today?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
