Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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