I'm really into asian looking animals
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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