she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize