yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
