Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
