my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
