You're so nebulous sometimes
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
