i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Randomize
