If i come over, it means nothing
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
