that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
