Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Randomize
