I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
