Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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