So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
