More tranny stories later!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
