the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Boobs are out for the taking
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
