I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
