Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
