Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
