New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
