I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
