I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
