you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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