We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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