If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
