Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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