You really coming over, don't trick.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
