In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Drunk is not a location!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize