Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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