Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
