he was CRYING into my vagina
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
