I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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