She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
