yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
