...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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