I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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