Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Someone came in the potted fern
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think pants incapable of making pants work
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
