So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
