Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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