so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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