I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Randomize
