Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
how drunk are you?
Several
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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