Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
