Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
