its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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