How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
