Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
