I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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